Because We Fit
by Planetgreen
Summary: Brittany is devastated at the loss of her husband. Santana is a successful star, having released countless chart toppers and climber the ladder to fame. When Brittany has needed Santana most, she has always been there. Even now, when she must deal with the love of her life's depressed state, whilst learning to help parent her five year old son. Warning, character death.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 

**A/N:**

**This is my new story, hopefully it will meet standards. I don't have a proof reader right now so I apologise for any mistakes made in the text.**

**Shock**

A tapping on the glass window for the recording studio stopped me halfway through the chorus of my new song.  
I looked up to see my personal assistant, Jane, standing there holding one of my mobiles out with a concerned look on her face.  
"Miss Lopez, you have a phone call…"  
She said into the microphone in the sound room.

I shook my head at her and gave her one of my personalised dirty looks.  
It's a known rule that I should not be interrupted when I'm in the studio.  
"Who is it Jane? Can't you just tell them I am busy?"  
I said, rolling my eyes, I needed to get through this song by the end of the day. My manager had set up a signing for late afternoon, to encourage my fans to buy my new single.  
"I'm sorry, Miss Lopez, I couldn't quite make out who it is, they're really quite distressed, crying a lot, they say they need you… Every time I try to hang up, they beg me to come find you, I'm sorry"  
I sigh, place my headphones on the stand, and exit the booth, I needed a break anyway.

Jane is waiting for me in the hall when I make it out of the studio and stares at me warily as she hands me the phone, I'm not really a fan of communal phone calls.  
"Can you get me a coffee Jane? I'm stuffed"  
She nods her head and rushes off down the hall, eager to do as I say. I relish in the first small amount of privacy I've had in hours as I raise the phone to my ear.  
"Hello?"  
I hear whimpering on the line, the person is crying.  
"Hello, this is Santana Lopez, who is there?"  
The whimpering stops slightly as the person takes a breath, I was beginning to feel uncomfortable until I hear a small, empty voice at the end of line, a voice I have not heard in a very long time.  
"San… I need you"

As soon as she speaks the air rushes from my lungs, she has a hold over me, one that no one has ever been able to achieve before her or after her.  
"Brittany, Britt, what's wrong, what happened?"  
I start to panic when her cries come back again. Jane opens the door and begins to walk towards me quickening her pace when she notices my pained expression.  
"Britt-Britt, you've got to talk to me sweetie"  
Jane reaches me and is obviously taken aback at the tone I'm using on my mystery caller, a tone reserved for one person, and one person only.  
"Sam, San"  
The air leaves my body again, only this time; not in a good way.  
"Sam, he died, I need you"

I snap straight away, and my body works on its own accord.  
"I'm coming"

Seven hours later, and I am sitting in a very familiar, yet entirely different airport.  
People keep glancing at me, and I make a conscious effort to pull my collar up on my jacket.  
My security was unimpressed about my sudden decision to leave; it would take two days for them to sort something out for me while I am here. A man approaches me with a grin on his face and hands me the keys to my rental car.  
"There you are Miss Lopez, all set, and might I say before you leave, my daughter is a very big fan. Is it inappropriate to ask for an autograph?"  
I scowl inwardly as I give the man my 'people' smile, he had been very helpful organising a car for me on such short notice, so I sign his card, bid him goodbye and begin my journey.


	2. Chapter 2

The familiar sign loomed ahead of me as I drove into Lima, I hadn't returned in years, I hadn't returned since Brittany told me she was getting married.

"_Santana"  
The use of my full name made my ears prick as Brittany walked towards me. I was sitting on a swing set, in an old deserted playground.  
"San-tana"  
She stuttered on my name, not knowing what to call me; given what had happened. Slowly kneeling in front of me, she linked my fingers with hers.  
"I'm sorry you had to find out like that"_

_Sam had announced to the whole barbeque at out 2 year reunion that he and Brittany were getting married. We were babies, only twenty one; they hadn't even decided what they wanted in life yet. His smirk burned into my eyes when he looked at me; like he was telling me he had won._

_Brittany had looked at me as soon as he said it, pulling her hand from his grasp and moving towards me. She was no match for me though, my hurt made me faster; she called out my name as I ran from the party, but she never caught me. She either didn't want to catch me, or something was holding her back._

_I looked up at her as I pulled my hand away, her deep blue eyes bearing into my soul.  
"You didn't even give me a chance Britt"  
I whispered. My heart was broken fully in two. What did Sam have that I didn't? I hated him that day, and every day after.  
"What do you mean?  
She whispered, kneeling in front me, and placing herself in front of my eyes again as I attempted to lower them to the ground.  
"I don't think I can live Britt, knowing that someone else wakes up with you every morning, holds you when you sleep and wakes you from your nightmares. I don't think I will make it, having to realise that when I don't have you, someone will hold you on the couch when you watch sad movies, dance with you on the street when there isn't any music, I can't do it Brittany, I need you."  
Her grip on my knees tightened and she tilted my chin up and placed a simple, small kiss on my lips.  
"You will always have me Santana, more than any other. I will never love anyone the way I love you, ever in my life. I will go to my grave being in love with you. Things happened San, and those things mean that you and I can't be together now. You're going to be great, amazing, and I will be here, for the rest of my life, in Lima, knowing I'm in love with you"_

_That made me mad, so mad. I pulled her hands from my knees and stood up, bringing her up with me.  
"If you're so in love with me Brittany, then why can we not be together, you said we would be, and I waited, I waited and then you were with Trouty. You called me only days ago to say that you were leaving him, and coming to be with me, we were going to be together, forever Britt. You were going to come to New York to dance and I was going to sing. What changed?"  
Tears were running down my face as she pulled me into her arms, resting her forehead against mine.  
"I'm pregnant, Santana"  
I suddenly felt like I was dreaming.  
"I'm pregnant, and its Sam's baby, I can't take that away from him. I can't get rid of this baby, not after Quinn, so I have to stay. You know that I will always love you, no matter what."  
She kissed me one last time, short and sweet.  
"You'll always be my best friend Santana"  
Then she turned and she walked out of my life._

I remember receiving the invitation to their wedding and sitting in my room for days, crying, sulking, and drinking. I did anything to avoid thinking about it. Rachel and Kurt begged me to go; Quinn came and TOLD me to go. But I didn't, I couldn't. I couldn't go and watch Sam parade my bride around in front of me, with his guppy faced smirk sauntering my way every second. I couldn't go and watch myself lose her.

I realise when I pass William McKinley High School that I have no clue whatsoever where Brittany lives now and I have been driving to her parent's house, where she lived in high school, where we loved in high school. I pull into the school parking lot to locate my mobile. After three rings, the person at the other end of the line answered.  
"Rachel, you have to give me Brittany's address"  
She pauses when she hears my statement, incoherent things coming out of her mouth, clearly shocked at my sudden burst.  
"Santana, I'm not sure-"  
"Don't Rachel, you guys didn't tell me! And she needs me! You and I both know that she needs me right now, and that I am the best thing for her. No amount of time can stop that we were and are best friends, and have been for years."  
For once Rachel is not putting up a fight, I know she has the address and I know I'm going to get it.  
"Just be careful San, a lot has changed over five years"


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Hi everyone, sorry about the length and the delay in the chapters. I'm trying to make them longer but I'm quite pressed for time at the moment. They will get longer as the story commences.**

**Thanks.**

**A Change is Coming**

I pulled the car to a stop, removing my keys from the ignition.  
This was the house; of course this was the house. Sam would have given her anything she wanted, we both would have. Everything about the small house I was parked in front of screamed Brittany. Even in the dark I could see the white picket fence, the yellow shutters surrounding the windows, the flowerbeds. This was Brittany, through and through.  
I didn't realise how long I had been sitting in the car when I saw a light turn on in the house.  
I closed the car door as silently as I could and made my way through the gate, onto the front porch. Conscious that it was quite late, I knocked on the door as quietly as I could, feeling my stomach drop as soon as I heard a shuffling behind the door. As a figure moved behind the barrier, and the locks turned, the door slowly opened, to reveal a very broken, very sad, Brittany.  
No words were exchanged when her eyes met mine, we never needed words. There was three seconds, I counted, until she threw herself into me, my arms encircling her waist.  
I slowly walked us into the house, her walking backwards, my legs softly nudging hers with every step. It wasn't a surprise, how easily our bodies still fit together even after five years. Brittany and I had been made for each other from the day my parents dumped me at the same day care she attended so they could continue with their jobs instead of focusing on their children. Sobbing, and refusing comfort from anyone I had sat in the middle of the room on my own. Until a little girl, with blonde hair, blue eyes and the most comforting smile I had ever seen came over to me and extended her pinky to mine; pulling me into a hug.

I let her hug me for what felt like hours. I held her to me whilst she buried her head into my shoulder, sobbing. Eventually, she fell asleep, and I began to hear another cry filling the house. One much younger.  
"Mom-Mommy! MOM!"  
Brittany squeezed her eyes shut and clutched onto my t-shirt, shaking her head back and forth, still not speaking. I untangled her fingers from me and sat her on the couch in the room I had walked us into.  
"I'll be right back B"  
I said and went to move away, only to be stopped by her hand gripping my wrist.  
"Britt, I'm not leaving you, I promise. I will be right back."  
I leant down and placed my lips on her forehead, sending my body into a fit of tingles. I could not help the way I reacted to her.  
I moved down the hall to the crying. I found an open blue door, with the faint light of a night light streaming out. Before I could move any further I heard a small voice.  
"Mommy, I'm scared. The monster keeps coming for me"  
I moved into the room and as my eyes focused I saw a little boy, no older than five, sitting up in his bed, the covers pulled to his nose.  
"Where's my Mom?"  
He asked, after he had given me a once over, his eyes widening with curiosity. I moved to his bed and sat on the edge of it, making sure not to get too close to boy.  
"Hey Sweetie" I said, and gave him a comforting smile.  
"Your Mom is just in the lounge, she's a little sad at the moment, so she sent me in to protect you. I've fought a lot of monsters in my time; I'm really good at scaring them off. With me here, no one will get you"  
I flashed him my smile again, hoping it would work. I could see her in this little boy, his eyes, his hair. They were all her.  
He snuggled back down into his sheets and rolled onto his side, giving me a thankful smile. I gave him a soft pat on the back and moved towards the door, turning at the last minute to see if he was asleep.  
"Do you feel better now?"  
I whispered into the dark, feeling the need to seek a response, and make sure this little boy was okay.  
"Yeah…"  
"That's good, goodnight then"  
I went to walk away when his little voice stopped me again  
"Wait, what's your name?"  
He said, shifting in his bed so he could look into my eyes.  
"Santana"  
I quietly said to him, turning my back again and leaving the room. As I walked away I heard him speak one more time.  
"G'night Tana"

When I returned to Brittany she was laying asleep on the tattered old couch in their lounge room. Nothing to protect her body from the night's cold. I set about exploring the house, finding that there were three bedrooms, including her son's, two bathrooms, their little lounge room, and an average sized kitchen, filled with filthy dishes. The clock on the wall in the kitchen told me it was 11.45 in the evening. Sighing and rolling up my sleeves, I set about filling the dirty sink with water and soap, beginning to scrub the dishes clean.

It was 12.30 by the time I had finished cleaning the kitchen from top to bottom. Putting everything in its rightful place and making sure nothing was left un-scrubbed. It was the first time I had done housework in a while.

I approached Brittany's sleeping form on the couch and quietly shook her awake.  
"Brittany, Britt, Brittany, come on Britt, we have to get you to bed"  
I helped her up and moved towards one of the rooms I had discovered earlier, she was clinging to my arms, refusing to let go.  
She directed me into what I had assumed was the guest room, moving to lie down on the bed. I brushed the hair from her face as I reached for the lamp, turning off the light and moving to leave the room. I was stopped again from leaving her by her hand gripping the front of my shirt.  
"San, stay please…"  
She mumbled half asleep, her eyes only slightly open.  
"Brittany, I'm not sure if that's a good idea. I'll just sleep on the couch"  
I attempted to release her hold on my clothes by massaging her knuckles; running my thumb over the smooth skin.  
"Santana, please; I just need you"  
I moved onto the bed with her and wrapped an arm around her waist from behind. I counted her breathing as it evened out, she was finally relaxed, as I pressed my lips to the back of her neck and held her to me closely I heard her hum, her fingers moving to interlock with mine on her stomach.

"Goodnight B"  
I whispered into her ear, finally falling into a deep sleep alongside her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Sorry about the wait!  
I hope this chapter is up to standards.**

**What Now?**

When I woke, the sun was streaming through the open curtains and the space beside me was empty and cold. It took me a moment to realise where I was. I was not in my apartment in LA, with the shutters down and my alarm permanently turned off. I was in Lima Ohio, in the love of my life's house, after her husband had died. I had lost my jeans sometime during the night and was staring at my body in just a t-shirt and skimpy panties, looking, and feeling like a zombie.

I trudged down the hallway slowly, listening to the sound of music and giggles coming from the kitchen.  
"Mooooommm, you can't dance and cook pancakes! It just goes on the floor"  
I heard a loud clang and sprinted the last few steps into the kitchen. Finding Brittany and the young boy covered in pancake mixture, just like the rest of the kitchen.  
"San, Rupert and I were just making pancakes, but I think we broke them"  
She collapsed into a hysterical fit of giggles. A vast contrast to the Brittany I had met last night.  
"Mooomm…"  
The boy whispered, elbowing her in the side and eying me up and down.  
"Oh Gosh, baby I'm sorry I forget!"  
She said, bending down to give him a kiss on the cheek.  
"Santana, this is my son Rupert, Rupert, this is Santana. She's my best friend"  
Brittany grinned down at her son as she spoke, radiating. She was obviously very proud of him. I just couldn't help but feel uneasy about the situation.  
"San, we're going to start again. Pancakes should be ready in about half an hour"  
Brittany said, sliding her arms around my waist and giving me a peck on the cheek.  
"I uh, need some air..."  
I mumbled, untangling her arms from my waist and moving to the back door, opening it to the back yard.

The air was cold outside, it sent chills through my whole body. I walked around the big garden, taking in my surroundings. There was flowers everywhere, an organised mess; Brittany wouldn't have it any other way. A large tree house was sitting nestled in a tree in the far corner of the garden, above a sandpit, toys scattered all over the yard.

I sat on the edge of the deck and leant my head against one of the balcony posts, taking deep breaths and playing with my hands.

What was I doing here?  
Brittany and I had had nothing to do with each other for ages, I'm not the person she should seek out for help.

"Mommy says the pancakes is ready"  
My thoughts were interrupted by small voice and a little body sitting next to me, making no attempt to move inside, he wiggled his body closer to mine, the wind making waves in his dirty blonde hair.  
"She's sad, my mom"

His words caused my head to whip around, a sad little smile gracing his features.

"She says you are a happy bringer"  
My eyebrows knitted together as I looked into his eyes, confusion coursing through my body.  
"I don't quite understand what you mean, a what?"  
He giggled, and stood up suddenly, dusting his pants off.  
"A happy bringer silly, you bring happy. Mommy says you make her smile for no reason, just to smile for fun, so you're a happy bringer"  
He turned and walked into the house, his small body scurrying into the kitchen like a mouse.  
"C'mon Tana, the pancakes will be cold."

"_C'mon Tana, the pancakes will be cold"  
A petite hand found its way to mine as I lay across the bed pretending to be asleep.  
I sensed the closeness before I felt the hot breath on my cheek and the small kisses that began to pepper themselves from my jaw to my cheek.  
"San, Sanny, Tana, my beautiful, it's time to wake up baby"  
I began to giggle as she started tickling my sides, her hands crawling into my night shirt and attacking my ribs and hips.  
"I knew you were pretending baby"  
She smiled and wrestled me into a kiss.  
Her lips fit to mine perfectly, there was no better feeling in my world, or any world, than when I felt her smile into a kiss, it felt like she had transferred all the happiness in the world into my body through her kiss.  
"I love you, I love you, I love you"  
She said in between pecks, ravishing my face with small, sweet kisses.  
"But… I really want my pancakes baby, they're blueberry, your favourite"  
And with that, she ran away; down the hall, to her pancakes._

I followed the boy into the kitchen, noticing the silence that filled the room. As I reached the table I noticed it had been neatly set. Brittany was sitting at the table waiting for us when we had entered.  
There were five seats at the small dining room table, and as I moved to sit on the one furthest from the family, I was stopped by a small arm.  
"You can't sit there."  
The boy said. His gaze hard.  
"That's my Dad's seat"  
A moment of confusion went through my mind before I moved to the seat directly next to Brittany, who gave me a weird, creepy grin.

After our strangely silent breakfast, Brittany informed me that Rupert was meant to be going to her sisters today, to spend the day.

Brittany's sister was three years older than us, and had been the apple of her parent's eyes. She was very intellectual and her parents praised her for it constantly. The only time I ever saw Brittany get jealous was over Jessica and her academic achievements. Jess was always very encouraging of Brittany though, she pushed Brittany to continue dancing, and follow her dreams, making her parents realise how talented Brittany was.

Nonetheless, I was shocked to find out Jessica was living in Lima.

I offered to drive Rupert and Brittany to Jess' house, relishing in being out and about without being attacked by photographers.  
Brittany had asked to be dropped at the shopping mall, promising to call when she wanted to be picked up and giving me incredibly detailed directions to her sister's house.  
Rupert and I sat in silence on the way, it was a ten minute drive after I had dropped Brittany off.  
I pulled the car to a stop in front of a ridiculously large brick house, with an even bigger garden.  
"Is this it?"  
I asked the five year old in the backseat of my car, unsure, regardless of my direction as to if I had the right house.  
"Yep, this is Auntie Jessie's."  
He said, unbuckling his seat belt. I opened my door and moved to his side of the car, having child locked it before letting the boy in, I wasn't taking any chances with something this precious to Brittany.  
"Come on little man"  
I said, pulling him out of the car and walking towards the house.  
I rang the bell and knocked three times before the door opened. 

"Oh my god"


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5.  
**_

_**I'm incredibly sorry everyone, I've had a hard month and I'm coming up to the end of my school year. Sorry about the massive break, I'll try to upload again soon**_

"_Come on little man"  
I said, pulling him out of the car and walking towards the house.  
I rang the bell and knocked three times before the door opened.  
_

"_Oh my god"_

Jess just stared at me, her mouth wide open and eyes bulging like I was a ghost. It wasn't until the small giggle from the boy beside me that we both came back to our sense.  
"Auntie J, why are you looking funny?"  
He said to her, referring to her sudden lapse of comprehension.  
She picked the young boy up and kissed his cheek, blowing raspberries on his face and in his hair.  
"I haven't seen you for so long baby boy, I thought you were a grown up!"  
She said, feigning surprise.  
She set Rupert down and he ran into the house. Turning to me she looked me up and down.  
"You better come inside Santana"

"It wasn't long after your reunion they were married."  
Jessica said, placing a steaming mug of coffee in front of me.  
"She was a shell of herself, never really smiling, or looking happy, until that little boy was born."  
She gestured to Rupert, sitting at the table in the dining room, colouring in.

"When he was born, she was herself again, she acted truly happy, dancing everywhere she went, constantly smiling. They were going well as a family, everything was fine, until roughly after you released your first song. After Britt was required to withdraw from college due to the pregnancy, and Sam never really had strived intellectually, settling for an apprenticeship as a mechanic in Hudson's shop, the wages for an apprentice are small, far too small to support a family. Eventually, they ran out of money."  
Her eyes looked sad as she brought her mug to her lips.  
"If I had known, I would have helped out. But Brittany, she was so strong minded; she needed to do everything for herself, to prove herself to our parents. So Sam, he joined the army. He had flown through his apprenticeship, learning surprisingly fast, so they took him right away. He was deployed with a continuous platoon, maintaining all their vehicles and sticking with them on missions. Every time he came home, he was different. Eventually, he'd completely changed. He was a whole different person, more aggressive, always lashing out. Rupert was so little and he was entirely intolerant of him. Leaving him in his room for hours when he put a toe out of line. Brittany and Sam started to argue more and it would often become messy; he wasn't violent as far as I am aware, but he was never far off becoming so. She tried so hard to stick by him, taking distance classes while he was away and eventually obtaining a teaching degree. He came home six months ago after being away for 11 months. He had missed Rupert's birthday and Christmas more times than he had been present and Brittany asked him to leave, she begged him to just stay home. He refused and she told him that she couldn't live so broken anymore, she needed to be a family and feel love, be loved. She told him that she didn't feel like he wanted her anymore, and that the love he once had for her had burned out; replaced by an empty shell of the man that once held her heart."  
Jessica was crying now, I took one of her hands in mine, urging her to continue."  
"He knew that she always loved you more, they fought about it constantly. Whenever you would release a new song, or were popular in the media, he would get mad and lash out at her. She came home from work one day, she had stayed late at the school, marking senior's assignments. Rupert was here with me for the night, her and Sam were going to have a romantic night together, to 'reconnect'. When she got inside she found Sam, and he had died, not only fighting a war for his country but for himself."

Jessica's words swam through my mind, poor Brittany, poor Sam. They had tried so hard to make it, and they almost had. I couldn't get the thought out of my head of Sam leaving to save his family, but having to endure his own demons alongside that, it was horrible.

"Rupert's staying with me tonight"  
Jessica's voice broke my train of thought.  
"It will give you and Brittany a chance to talk about things and get to know each other again. She's not okay Santana. She will try to convince you that everything is fine with her, but she's drowning. Throughout the day she's an over exaggerated version of what we once knew, almost like her teenage self, I think she does it for Rupert, like wearing a mask. Then at night the mask comes off, and she's thrown into a dark abyss of loneliness.  
You came back, Santana, when she called you. Which means that you might still care about her-"  
"Of course I still care about her, I love her"  
I cut her off  
"She's Brittany and I'm Santana, and I promised her when we were children that I would always be there for her"  
I looked up at Jessica now, the tears falling down my cheeks. I could not bear to compare myself to what Sam had gone through. The last few years of our relationship had been rocky, to say the least, and we were constantly rivalling for Brittany, but in this moment, I couldn't stop myself from remembering the shy, goofy boy that had waltzed into McKinley with his lame-ass impressions and a constant smile.

"That's good to hear Santana, because she needs you now more than ever. She called you because you have always been the one person that has loved her unconditionally, the person that she trusts with her whole heart and soul, regardless of how long you are separated. I need you to bring back my baby sister, I know she's in there somewhere, but for the sake of this beautiful boy, that needs his mother, his real mother, we need you, but most of all she needs you San, she needs you to help her out of this"

I nodded, rising from my seat and removing myself from the kitchen. Over one day I had gone from recording my third album in five years, lounging in my luxury apartment, to running back to my high school sweetheart, the only love of my life, who barely existed anymore.

Confused was an understatement.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey I'm back kind of. I just thought I would write this chapter to fill the story a bit, I've been away for a while, my updates will sill be spaced but I'm hoping to update more often now.**

**Thanks, please review.**

In an attempt to clear her head, Santana sat in the driveway of Brittany's little home, thinking over what she had learnt from Jessica. She unclasped her seat belt and left the car, moving towards the house and letting herself in, locking the door behind her.  
"Brittany, you should really start locking your door."  
She said, moving through the house and removing her coat, hanging it on a chair in the kitchen. She caught sight of Brittany, sitting with her back to her on the floor, in between the island bench and the stove, toying with a wooden spoon.  
"Brittany?"  
Santana asked, moving towards the woman and crouching next to her, placing her hand on the other woman's back. Brittany startled at the contact and turned her head to meet Santana's eyes.  
"I wanted to make you dinner"  
She whispered, clutching the spoon to her chest.  
"I wanted to make you dinner, but I kept messing it up. I'm stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid"  
The woman cried, hitting herself in the head forehead with the bud of her palm, tears streaming down her face.  
"I can't do anything. I can't do anything"  
She moaned as Santana attempted to remove the spoon from her hands, coaxing the blonde into her arms. Brittany fought against Santana, pushing her away and holding her hands out in front of her.  
"Don't touch me Santana,"  
She said, piercing the other woman with her stare.  
"I ruin everything, I don't want to ruin you, don't touch me"  
She whispered, staring into her lap, hands now clasped in front of her. Santana regarded Brittany for a moment, the broken woman in front of her a shell of the bright, bubbly girl she once knew.  
"You're not stupid Honey"  
Santana said, slowly inching towards her.  
"You're a genius Britt, and you don't ruin everything Sweetie"  
Reaching Brittany, she moved the hair from her face behind her ear.  
"Rupert is so perfect"  
She whispered, pulling Brittany into her lap.  
"He's so perfect and you haven't ruined him, it's just hard at the moment Britt. It's hard but you're going to get through it. I'm here helping you okay?"  
Santana said, pressing a light kiss to the side of Brittany's head.

Santana had managed to persuade Brittany to move into the guest room of the house. She sat up against the headboard, face pale and eyes sunken. Santana carried a plate over to her, handing it to Brittany with a sheepish smile.  
"Sorry Britt, you don't have a lot of food in the house at the moment, and a grilled cheese was the best I could do"  
She said earning a small smile from Brittany.  
"Thank you Santana, this is perfect. I've been trying to find the time to go to the grocery store but I haven't really been free lately"  
She said, nodding her head and attempting to convince herself of the lie.  
Santana stared at the blonde who was refusing to meet her eyes, she reached out and took her hand tentatively, running her thumb across the back of her knuckles.  
"You don't have to pretend around me Brittany,"  
She said, taking the plate from the blonde and putting it on the bedside table. She reached out and put her hand on Brittany's chin, urging her to meet her eyes, a tear escaped Brittany's eye and slowly made it's way down her cheek, Santana catching it before it hit her lips.  
"It's okay to be sad, it's okay to be angry, and it's okay to feel Brittany. You're allowed to have feelings about what has happened. Just stop shutting me out"  
Brittany took a shaky breath, nodding her head slightly and allowing more tears to fall down her cheeks.  
"He uh- he went away so that we could be happy, have everything a family had. It was good"  
Brittany said, glancing up at the ceiling and blinking back more tears.  
"After he came back the first time, we were really happy, everything just continued as normal, and then he went away again. When he came back it was different, it was like something had switched. He was mad, all the time. He'd always yell at Rupert for doing nothing, he's just a little kid. He had been back for a while when he started yelling at me all the time, every night."  
Brittany took a deep breath, pausing for a moment. Santana squeezed her hand, trying to transfer comfort through her touch.  
"I've never felt so worthless, Santana. I've never felt like I was nothing as much until then. He'd yell at me about everything, he'd yell at me about you, then he'd yell at Rupert for being afraid. And then, then he died Santana"  
Brittany cried out, burying her head in her hands.  
"He died, and it was my fault, because I urged him to join the army. I told him that we needed money and he was just trying to do right by us, provide. He died, and I miss him, but I feel guilty, so guilty, because I can't help but feel the smallest bit relieved that he won't yell at me anymore."  
Brittany almost shouted, pain coursing through her words. Santana had silent tears running down her face when she drew Brittany into her, whispering comforting words into her hair, muffling her cries.  
"I'm a bad parent, I'm a bad wife, I can't do anything Santana. I'm a bad parent, I'm trying so hard to make everything okay for Rupert, but I'm hurting so much"  
Brittany mumbled into Santana's shirt, turning her head into the crook of her neck.  
"I just wish everything was okay again"  
She whispered.

Brittany woke the next morning to Santana's tan arms holding her close to her body, her hand clutching the blonde's shirt and her fingers threaded through Brittany's.

They made their way to the kitchen, sitting either side of the small table; Santana consciously avoiding Sam's seat, as she knew Rupert would prefer.  
The Latina stretched her hand across the table, holding Brittany's carefully, stroking her fingers across her knuckles in their familiar, comforting way.  
"Brittany"  
She said, steering the blonde's attention away from their linked fingers.  
"Britt, I uh, I know that I literally just walked back into your life, but you wouldn't have called if you didn't need my help so I think that maybe you should come be with me for a while, in LA. Rupert can come if you want, he could benefit from staying with Jess for a while though"  
Brittany pulled her hand from Santana's giving her a glare.  
"No, Britt, please"  
Santana said, following the other woman when she stood up from her seat, moving into the hall.  
"Britt, he needs someone stable right now, Jess is there, she wants to help, and it's just for a little while. I just want to help you feel better"

Santana wrapped her arms around the blonde, feeling her melt into the embrace; she nodded into Santana's chest, so discreetly Santana almost missed it.


End file.
